Flandre
There's no better introduction to the nation of Flandre than their own legendary origins:
One day, Flan, god of foresight and confidence games,
ran out of opponents to play Catalos with, for the other
gods had grown sick of losing all the time. [Catalos is a
Flandrean game, similar to chess except about twenty-
seven times more complicated to play.] And so Flan
spoke, saying, Do I not possess great wisdom? I shall
play against myself, and win great glory thereby. But
Flan's mental might was too great, and as much as he
schemed, he could not outsmart himself. Thus he had
an aneurysm and died. But the gods had pity on Flan,
and from his body they made the world, and from his
urine they made the seas, and from his mind they
made humankind. And they called themselves
"Flandre," which means "The Children of Flan."
— From the Book of Schemes, Ch. 8 verse 3-21.
I've always felt this story captures both the genius of the Flandrean spirit as well as the tendency for that genius to go wrong in unexpected ways. And of course the story is in their own words, which I think is the only proper way to learn about a people.
Nevertheless, there is always room for the perspectives of others, such as the researchers who study the archeological record of the ancient Flandreans. Flandrean ruins are easy to identify because they're usually chock-full of the remains of primitive booby traps. Entries in the archeological record indicate that ancient Flandreans originated in the Barcu region before migrating to the territory currently claimed by the Methodocracy of Flandre. This of course does much to explain the cultural paranoia of Flandre, for if you can't even trust the weather, what can you trust? In fact, some researchers believe ancient Flandreans might have actually invented the concept of government in order to coordinate their contingency plans.
Historically, Flandre has proved a tricky diplomatic partner (see also the Roerbach Incident), and the resulting trade deficit limited their economic growth. It was only with the emergence of the Hegemony of Whales that their economy was able to boom, both as a result of oil trade and of renting space on their oil ships to nations that wish to avoid the Whale Tariffs. Their cold war with the Hegemony of Whales has positioned them at the center of an anti-whale political bloc, along with the Ulgravian Diaspora, whose zeppelin fleet creates an existential need for continued oil trade.
Dr. Herbert Jones
University of Eyesland
Professor of Cataloguing Various Things
Heinrich Stafford Chair of Arrangement
PhD in Miscenallia
Citations: Barcuvian antiweather / The Book of Schemes / The Hegemony of Whales / The Roerbach Incident / The Ulgravian Diaspora
Cited by: Asynchronous energy / Barcuvian antiweather / The Book of Schemes / The Botherhood / Buddy "Literally Made of Snakes" Johnson / The Careless Continent / Concluding Recommendations: Dr. Gwen Hanson / Concluding Recommendations: Dr. Herbert Jones / Concluding Recommendations: Dr. Remilion Christophy / Concluding Recommendations: M. Hon. Pierce Milton / Concluding Recommendations: Spheven Kain / DAS Secretary Ruby Tomas / Electric undead / Flandrean National Response Protocol BX-392a / General Kade "Ripper" Gorson / Goats on Boats Affair / The Hegemony of Whales / High Exarch Minor Seraphi Ironheart / The I'll Legislate It, I Swear, Don't Think I Won't Act / Joran Lake / Legend of the Three Trees / Mad King Westler / Mad legal practice / Massively Parallel Peace Conference / The Night of Storms / The Panark Fleet / Placeholden / Professor (allegedly) Marvin Fitch / Ravenous Squid-Trees / Razor Valley / The Roerbach Incident / The Ulgravian Diaspora / The Yggdrasil Project / Zeitgeist Manipulator / Zor Olo
The most hilarious thing about Flandre is their relationship to Selestei. The two countries are supposed to be allies. Everyone over in Selestei loves Flandre, despite the fact that from a Selesteine point of view Flandrean culture is essentially institutionalized cowardice. Meanwhile, Flandre appears to take every possible opportunity to fuck Selestei over. But no matter how hard they try, Selestei somehow manages to avoid the vast majority of the negative consequences. Not only that, but they don't even seem to have noticed this has been going on. You should have seen Ironheart's eye twitching when Daggert gave her a bear hug last week, it was the most hilarious shit.
Gwen Hanson, PhD
Citations: High Exarch Minor Seraphi Ironheart / Selestei