Professor (allegedly) Marvin Fitch

Where to begin with the illustrious life of Marvin Fitch? Should I tell you of the heroic lengths to which he went for the sake of his students? Of the nights he spent poring over the bleeding edge of psychological research to formulate his unique style of teaching? Of the long and dangerous voyages he made around the world to collect specimens for his art? Of the eye he lost to a Barcuvian laserlily, or the two fingers to a rage-hamster? Surely any familiar with the alleged professor's name knows of such things. Instead, I will tell you of his character.

Marvin Fitch was born in AES 930 in Flandre, where he grew up an absolute bastard. He graduated with an alleged degree in education from the National University of Incendia in 953 through the University's Alleged Scholars Program, which offered faster, cheaper university education without university-sponsored accreditation or ethics courses. He began teaching as an adjunct at the University of Eyesland, where he was sanctioned twice in the fall semester and ultimately fired in the spring after one of his students lost a hand to an exam with a buzzsaw on it. This reoccurred at his next position at the Panark Jungle College the following year, and then again at his next position at his alma mater, where he taught several courses in the ASP. Surprisingly, however, NUI did not fire him, and he remained there as an alleged professor until 960, when the I'll Legislate It, I Swear, Don't Think I Won't Act forced him to rethink his career. In revenge, he invented the Omega Point Coffee Secretor, which currently resides in the Butterfly Effect Advisory Committee's break room, then went under the radar to teach trade skills.

After Incendia caught on fire in 974, the Incendian Bureau of Inquisition, Igirio Fezz, placed the blame (internally, of course, as Incendia does not officially recognize that anything bad has happened) on graduates from the Alleged Scholars Program, which he alleged had failed to teach its students even of the concept of safety precautions. The President, Iyano Niir, put Marvin Fitch on the top of Incendia's Most Wanted List and sent the military on a global manhunt to track the professor (allegedly) down. Fitch quickly dropped off the map. His whereabouts are currently unknown, though it is likely that he, like many political refugees, is hiding out somewhere in the Panark Fleet.