Atherton Guage

A quixotic and storied figure in Codex lore, Atherton Guage is the subject of so many wildly varying tales that all of them cannot possibly true—a fact, it must be said, that draws Bardslayer attention like bloody water draws sea wyrms. Given extant writings on the man, I will merely offer a brief summary.

Our actual evidence of Guage's life is scant. We know from the Codex Ingenuous that he was a prominent figure in Ergniramniphoniclufiville and a contemporary—and political opponent—of Kelorna the Extremely Confused. Though referred to only as the "Wheelmind" in the Codex, comments by Kelorna in the present day confirm that Guage was her primary opponent during final batch of experiments that are presumed to have resulted in Ergniramniphoniclufiville's disappearance. Unfortunately, most of these comments are off-handed references, collected from the transcripts of her characteristic monologues while e.g. unleashing another doomsday device or blowing up the current head of government. And since undergoing dragonfire-induced radical behavior modification therapy, Kelorna has ceased being ingenuously "extremely confused", and is now, to all appearances, actually extremely confused. It seems unlikely she will be able to provide further information.

Guage's most notable accomplishment, however, needs no immortal supervillain to confirm its existence. To prevent the power of the Gauge Enigma from falling into the wrong hands (that is, Kelorna's), he brought forth a great working that remains without equal to this day. Lirian Inkbowels put it particularly well:

Dark the brow, quick the fingers of the Wheelmind as raised he a bulwark 'gainst the unworthy. Wheels of fire issued forth from the ground, and the Gauge Enigma[1] was enshrined in the sky, warded forever. (CI #209, p. 147)

I hardly need explain at this point that this is why the all-encompassing network of metal gears in the sky is known as the "Guage Enigma". The ever-shifting patterns among the gears make for an excellent deterrent for those like Kelorna, who is bad at math. However, it is unlikely it will stop those like the estimable D. R. Loblaw, whose groundbreaking work on the Guage Enigma would surely advance the field if he were invited to conferences anymore.[2]

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Yedevek Ilron, Bardslayer 2nd class

[1] Some translators alternatively render the phrase εωερυβοδυ διεσ as "Great Secret". For a number of reasons, the Sel and Kimoth translation, which I use here, elected to stick with the vernacular.

[2] Alas, part of this is his fault. I am told that instead of presenting, he just stands on the podium and mumbles about numbers.