The Lunchtime Fallacy

The Lunchtime Fallacy is the name of a neoclassical metal band hailing from Katskria that rose to prominence for its participation in the first symphonic warp traversal experiments in AES 955. The participants for the experiments, run by the National Academy of Velskyavo, were chosen by a single-elimination endurance tournament in which bands were required to play music while undergoing astronaut training. The Lunchtime Fallacy narrowly defeated their opponents in the finals, the neometal classical band Sneezing on the King Eternal, when Sneezing's drummer fell unconscious in the third hour inside the multiaxis g-force machine and lost his grip on his drumsticks, which flew out at high speed and knocked out their bassist. In the maiden voyage of the warp-equipped shuttle — christened as the Rainbow's Teeth by Lunchtime's lead singer, Groz Hoffman — The Lunchtime Fallacy entered warp with a performance of their hit single "Hit Me With a Truck" and exited five minutes later on the other side of the world in Lepazzia, where they played a few numbers for a surprised crowd before warping back to Katskria with an encore of "Ain't No Whale".

The Lunchtime Fallacy rode on this fame for a few years, until they were inadvertently banned by the Don't Think I Won't Act. Now international criminals guilty only of the crime of having a pretty sweet band name, they broke into the National Academy's warp research wing and stole the Rainbow's Teeth, making their getaway with the debut performance of "But You'll Never Take Our Trousers". Through the careful manipulation of time signatures, Lunchtime was able to introduce time dilation into their warp travel, spending only a day inside the warp before materializing in the capital of Shaster three months later. Thereafter, Lunchtime became temporal vagrants, appearing out of the warp on the crest of a song and playing a gig long enough for their agent to grab more food from the nearest market before disappearing back into the ether. Because they spend more time in warp than with the rest of us, the members of Lunchtime appear to have only aged a few years since they began their journey through space and time thirty years ago.

Before their exodus, The Lunchtime Fallacy's lyrics focused on themes of the difficulty of engaging in politics in an increasingly globalized world and the marginalization of smaller communities. Their later, post-Act work has abandoned this to become more abstract and disconnected, a trend that National Academy researchers are worried represents long-term detrimental effects from extended warp exposure.

The Lunchtime Fallacy has accumulated an impressive curriculum vitae of prestigious events. They've played at the inaugurations of the Mayor of Kingsland, the President of Incendia, and several of the governors of the Very Definitely Independent States. They've provided background music to sessions of the Disputatious Assembly of Sovereigns and breakout meetings of the Advisory Committees. They were even invited once!

Citations: Incendia / The Very Definitely Independent States