Iurezza (Sneezing on the King Eternal album)

I've always had a soft spot for Sneezing on the King Eternal. A neometal classical band out of the Very Definitely Independent States, they took their name from an AES 840 incident where the Benric Sovereign sneezed on Sornhandr, the King Eternal, and was fatally cursed for the faux pas. The phrase has come to refer to all the ways life's endeavors can suddenly come to an end because of small mistakes, and SotKE's music presents that ethos perfectly. This can be seen in their 961 Iurezza, a nearly three-hour concept album telling the story of the rise and eventual fall of the Disputatious Assembly of Sovereigns. Written mostly by their drummer, my old mentor Professor Riggs Behemon, the story contains more historical research than some PhD theses.

1. The Partitioning (Instrumental) — 5:23

The Partitioning is an overture meant to represent the division of the world into nation-states. Vocalist Gen Oslif has said in interviews that SotKE considers division between people to be the root of all strife. There is some wisdom to this, I think.

2. Origination — 12:02

SotKE introduce the Disputatious Assembly of Sovereigns in its original form as a social club created by High Exarch Jain Kantamon to keep tabs on the local leaders of consequence. In those days, the Disputatious Assembly of Sovereigns did not possess the power it holds today, and only affected that part of the world that could travel there. The track is notable for incorporating passages from the Book of Schemes into the lyrics.

3. Here There Be Dragons — 17:49

A heavy, grinding epic about the Roerbach Incident, featuring an excellent duet between Kantamon (Oslif) and Doric Foeslayer (guitarist Enric Hass) about what they respectively think is happening. For a brief period in the 60's, this was the only scholarly source that argued Doric Foeslayer knew what was going on.

4. Interlude: A Shrinking Sandbox (Instrumental) — 3:25

This instrumental is about the expanding diplomatic frontiers of the Assembly as continued exploration of the world increased the number of Sovereigns who could attend Assembly sessions.

5. The King Eternal — 7:56

This track introduces Sornhandr, the King Eternal, as a symbol of the end of all things. In a nod to their longtime fans, this track reprises key riffs from "Sneezing on the King Eternal," a track from their debut album. I always get the chorus stuck in my head: "Withered hand the lighting brings / Bow to the Eternal King."

6. The Glory — 15:11

Track 6 covers the age of Selesteine dominance of international politics (roughly c. 250 to 382). Global force projection was not possible back in those days due to logistical capabilities, but Selestei had the closest thing. The track concludes with "bad neighbors from the east" landing their country on Selestei's shores, ending their naval force projection.

7. Acceleration — 16:43

Acceleration, which gets faster over the course of the song, tells the story of the growing technological capabilities of Assembly member nations and the resulting increase of relevance of the Assembly to global politics.

8. Ascension — 8:47

Ascension briefly addresses Ulgrav's taking to the skies, as seen through the perspective of the Assembly.

9. The Glory (Reprise) — 10:34

This track portrays the War of Durun's Ass as a Selesteine attempt at one last feat of heroism before history sweeps their way of life away. I get chills whenever I hear the last verse:

We will set sail for the glory
One last time, we raise our blades
Let the world tell them our story
History will know our names

10. Interlude: The System of the World (Instrumental) — 11:37

This track, which is supposed to represent the Assembly attaining the status and power it holds today, contains an 8-minute solo by guitarist Kela Reardon.

11. War Upon the Deep — 20:12

This track addresses both the Goats on Boats Affair and the Cetacean War, its resolution, and the geopolitical fallout of recognizing the Hegemony of Whales into the Assembly. Attentive listeners will hear echoes of "The King Eternal" in parts of the track.

12. Here There Be Dragons (Reprise) — 6:13

With their typical propensity for rich metaphors, SotKE argue in this track that the increasing complexity of modern life has introduced many existential threats to the world, and that Assembly politics will inevitably lead to someone triggering one of them.

13. Annihilation — 39:16

In the epic, final track of the album, SotKE paint a picture of the return of the Ultimate Dragonopolis resulting in the destruction of sentient life. Given the stated intentions of certain individuals, one can't help but worry that their fears might be prophetic. The track ends with a beautiful, organ-only reprise of The King Eternal, inviting us all to contemplate our transience in this life.

---

Dr. Herbert Jones
University of Eyesland
Professor of Cataloguing Various Things
Heinrich Stafford Chair of Arrangement
PhD in Miscenallia

SotKE fucking rocks.

---

Gwen Hanson, PhD

The quality of your scholarly contributions never fails to impress, Dr. Hanson.

---

Most Honored Pierce Milton

Oh, right, because your musical taste is soooo much better. Don't think we don't know why you're playing that weak-ass classical music on minimum volume in your pathetic excuse for an office. You're not subtle, Milton. Guy prances around going "la la la perception determines reality" and then fills his working space with self-consciously high status shit? How fucking stupid do you think we are?

---

Gwen Hanson, PhD

As an aside, I am grateful to be working with such scholars as we have on the Butterfly Effect Advisory Committee. It takes a world-class mind to make the astute observation that our resident memetosociologist practices memetosociology. I look forward to further groundbreaking discoveries linking professors of miscellania and the habit of categorizing things, or the stunning connection between studying entropology and being an asshole.

---

Cincinatta Rubric, MsD