Hard light projection

Hard light projection refers to any number of light-based technologies developed in the second half of the tenth century.

The first hard light projection was developed in early 958 by Vigotskian researchers at the National University of Incendia and had the ability to project a three-dimensional hologram in space. The research paper simply called it a "light projector", but the university's branding office insisted that it be called hard light projection in the press releases and distinguished from "easy light projection", what screen projectors do.

As is normal with academicians, this kicked off a flurry of activity seeking to capitalize on both the new research and the spate of media attention. The National University of Shaster was the first to respond, putting forth a prototype in late 959 that could project a hologram at long distances. The NUS Dean of Engineering declared this achievement to be the real hard light projection, and "what those Typhoid Marys coughed up" to be merely easy light projection. They were one-upped a month later by The Grim College, which (literally) extended their work to project light around the curvature of the planet. This, the High Inquisitor declared, was the truly hard light projection, and all this merely straight projection was so easy it could barely be called light projection at all.

Not to be outdone, Warbaum's University sought a new direction for projection technology. In 966, its Department of Physics and Cooking revived the dispute by releasing a light projector that could create solid holograms. This, the Professor Chefmaster declared, was the only light projection that could truly be considered hard, and the intepretation of "hard" as referring to difficulty was a misdirection by amateurish charlatans. The Selesteine College of Arts and Zymurgy saw an opportunity here for publicity in a field they did not even have a department for and declared that Warbaum's allegedly hard light projection could not stand up to the merest flick by a Grim Weeper. Therefore, it could be considered soft light projection at best. Capitalizing on this in turn, Razor Valley Bunker-University revealed a form of light projection with alcohol content a few years later, and declared this to be the true "hard" light projection.

By 974, the Incendian homeland became inaccessible, and the Incendian President Iyano Niir was the only one left on the succession list for the Dean of NUS. Rebranding the university as the National Correspondence University of Incendia, he brought a paradigm shift to hard light projection technology by paying dictionary publishers to make "hard" short for "hardtack", the cracker. Armed with stacked dictionaries and a pedanticism born of desperation, Niir attended ProjExpo 975 and unveiled a lamp with hardtack taped over the bulb, which he claimed projected "hard[tack] light". For making a mockery of the field, Niir was immediately thrown out of the convention and given an official warning from J.U.S.T.I.C.E.

The controversy over hard light projection is related to, but ought not be confused with, the lesser-known controversy over hard light projectors. While the former was an academic venture of international proportions, the latter was a dispute that occurred between the Left Physics Department and the Right Physics Department of Kera University. The former produced a prototype hard light projector with a user interface so arcane that it was nigh-impossible to use, and offered this as a contribution to the debate over what could be considered hard light projection. The latter objected, claiming that neither the projection nor the light was hard, and drove its point home by creating a slide projector out of titanium and bashing the Left Physics Department's prototype to pieces. This resulted, as is typical at Kera University, in a semester-long campaign of vengeance.