Ontological cost

on·to·log·i·cal cost
ˌän(t)əˈläjək(ə)l ‘ kôst/
DRACOPHILOSOPHY
1. The price, value, or figure put on a person, place, or thing relating to the branch of metaphysics dealing with the nature of being.

Within everything from the reason you exist in the first place all the way to the best damned baked goods you’ve ever experienced, there is an ontological cost. The metaphysical properties of dragon fire have been linked to a direct correlation between what is and what is not costly, in the ontological sense of course. In cases like the noted email chain regarding Meklondiche (Guage key 71) , spread by a “concerned mother,” we see the catastrophic effects of misinterpretation. An ontological cost is a simple thing to calculate, as seen below in the approved graph for ontological costs in metaphysics 101 at the Underground Academy for Gifted Minds:

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As we see here in the graph (color coded to the common knowledge of corresponding dimensions) it takes a very specific level of thought attributed to the awareness of an object, such as a key, to keep it in its current metaphysical state. Once exceeding a certain point, the metaphysics shift and the dimension in which the object exists will also shift (clearly demonstrated in the above graph), so the poor soul that found Meklondiche has probably been slingshot to a far off dimension by now if that email chain continued at its exponential rate.

Applying the appropriate levels of attention and awareness to an object, such as my cupcake I had today, you can fulfil the ontological cost and define the metaphysics of its properties. I, myself, knew there would be no better flavor than that of the tarworm and therefore that is the delicious flavor I tasted as I bit into my prize winning cupcakes.

It is important that I also note the dangers of opening spam mail from uncredited sources. Do not mess with the imbalances of ontological cost, because we all know what happens to those who do.

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Dr. Ophelia Gumphry of the Underground Academy for Gifted Minds