The Esoteric Order of Florists

It would be a tad inaccurate to say that "few names are more feared than that of the Esoteric Order of Florists", since the Order isn't feared per se. They are certainly unsettling, given their uncanny ability to deliver flowers anywhere, any time, no matter what security precautions are taken to keep them out. Despite their skill at infiltration dwarfing that of national intelligence agencies, the Order has never been definitively linked to any form of political violence or assassination. This is not to say that the Order has clean hands: it was a campaign of Order deliveries that finally drove the Mad King Westler completely insane in the ninth century. Nevertheless, if you're not the sort to be bothered by benign, nigh-omnipresent florists, the Order are at best an inconvenience.

The Esoteric Order of Florists is the heir to the Guild of Florists, distinguished as one of two such institutions to survive the decline of the guilds over the early centuries of Anno Ecclesiae Superregum. Like the Mapmakers' Guild, the Guild of Florists survived by evolving to transcend the guild system. While the cartographers increasingly militarized to bring the world into line with their maps, the florists developed secret techniques to fulfill more and more audacious contracts. Within the century, their powers of flower delivery had grown so threatening to international security that the Disputatious Assembly ordered countries in which they had guildhalls to implement oppressive controls to curb their power. Eventually, stymieing these measures became so cumbersome that the Guild of Florists announced that it was disbanding and closed all of its locations. There was a worldwide sigh of relief, until every sovereign in the Assembly received a bouquet with a note attached, reading "Thank you for your feedback. Signed, the Esoteric Order of Florists". Nobody knows where they operate out of now, though most suspect Lepazzia, their biggest state client, is sheltering them.

The secret to the Order's unmatched infiltration ability has been the subject of interminable debate. They have been suggested to be the keepers of secret cloaking technology discovered long ahead of their time, martial artists whose mastery of ancient jutsu allows them to move as freely and invisibly as the wind, spirits of the forest that can materialize freely in the mortal world, an international network of spies with the connections to get access to anywhere, and the fingers of a dark god breaking through to our world. World leaders such as Klaus Santanna have been accused of being Order members hiding in plain sight, and historical figures like Pentex Lannogaster are often suspected on account of the breadth of their escapades.

Whatever they are, they are one of the few certainties in life. Every night I lock up the building to clean, and every morning I wake up to the place littered with flower petals. I've tried everything. Nothing works.